I had assigned writing to this morning but apparently I didn’t want to do it because I found 20 plus things to get distracted by on my way to opening my computer and actually writing.

My ADD brain loves to start things. I have a lot of thoughts swirling around and the excitement of getting the project going gives me the dopamine fix I crave.

But finishing projects can be like trudging through muddy quicksand. I refer to it as “slogging”. It takes so much effort to even make a little bit of progress.

I have several writing projects started and I’m ok with jumping from one to another because I get bored with the one I’ve been working on and want to spark some excitement in my brain. But that also means I have several unfinished projects out there at the same time, all in various stages of completion. And sometimes finding the motivation to just push a project over the finish line is tough.

Apparently, those of use with ADD are a dopamine seeking bunch. Playing a game on my phone is more fun than reading a book because the dopamine hit is quicker. Listening to a story read to me via a platform like Audible is enjoyable because I can do something else while I’m listening and still get my hit of dopamine.

Anyway, back to finishing what I started. Getting a project off the ground is easier than landing the plane. Fortunately, or not so fortunately, I have a competing disorder (OCD?) where I hate to leave things unfinished. I have a second Master’s degree simply because I was only 2 classes away from completing it and I just couldn’t let it stay unfinished. I love putting a check mark next to everything on my To-Do list. It’s very satisfying.

So, I have managed to get myself back to my computer to try and wrap this up. In some cases this is just a willpower thing. Everything within me doesn’t want to do it, but I know I need to. And once I get it started, I can usually bring it to a close.

My ADD, OCD(?) and Anxiety are considered disorders because they interfere with and affect my everyday life. Some people believe we are all neurodivergent in some way, but I disagree. If this was typical for everyone, those of us who are affected by it wouldn’t feel so out of place or need to define it for ourselves as I’ve done here.

My ADD brain functions a certain way and I’m ok with that. I want to understand it better though because I have found that I miscommunicate often and some people have difficulty accepting my explanation of why I said or did a particular thing. They aren’t as accepting of me as I am of myself and that can be hard to navigate and cause emotional distance.

My hope is that by sharing my own struggles with being ADD that it helps you identify, understand and accept your own neurodivergent brain.

There are so many things I could add, but that would only be trying to appease my sense of perfectionism which wants everything perfect before I put it out there. 

But I’m not perfect. I’m a wonderfully messy and disorganized, distractible, procrastinating, CREATIVE person. Most of us with ADD brains are.